Anyone remember Snoopy? They kickass cartoon dog? Would anyone ever feel like Snoopy was annoying them or getting in their way? Nope. No they would not.
“Oh no, I feel like Snoopy standing in the corner is really messing up the enjoyment I could be experiencing with my friends over this omelet.”
This never happens.
Or…. Does it….
(Dude, what are you talking about?) ←– You might be asking me. So glad you asked.
I have a very large dog, 80-90 lbs. After year 1.5, she calmed down to the point that complete strangers would be like “Oh hey- she really doesn’t care what’s going on, does she?”
Nope. She doesn’t.
This afternoon my hot BF and I were wandering the city with my pup, Lily. We had been walking all afternoon and decided to reward our calorie loss with some beers. Lily, being exhausted and constantly trying to find the correct ninja position to attack (in case she had to protect me, duh) would not lay down in the corner spot that we deemed an appropriate “dog spot.”
In an effort to get Lily to relax in her “dog spot” she accidentally bumped her furry butt into the chair of the college guy next to us. College guy was sitting next to 5 other college guys who were eating side salads and talking about the classes they had. Also, the level of terrible service they were experiencing at the restaurant. Also, the need to decorate their (mom cough dad cough)’s apartment.
Instead of the reaction that I am used to with an accidental dog/human contact ( See: “Whoops, you’re dog is so cute! Also you’re so hot!” So Sorry/Happy that furry animal got in my way!) The college dude looked at my dog and stared. Just stared. At her butt none the less. My Bf had to do the whole “Sorry” thing, which I also tried to do, but really was staring “FU” through my eyes. The college guy only mumbled “Ya” before continuing on with his salad.
While college guy and his friends nibbled on their salads and my Bf sat there sipping his beer I scratched my pup’s hair and plotted world domination. Which one of you college guys will I serve to my dog first when I use my mind powers to control society?
Sigh. No. I think I’ll just eat my crab cake. Hats off to you, jerks.